Ripping Out The Seams

Anyone who is familiar with sewing knows exactly what this 3-inch tool is. It can cause both epic destruction and the massively cleansing feeling of correction all in one fell swoop. For those of you not familiar with sewing, this is what you use after you're sewing along, blissfully unaware that you are sewing something incorrectly, or that your sewing line looks terrible on the other side of the fabric. It's like an eraser for sewing. You sew like crazy, locking in your stitch, moving along, and low and behold, you put the fabric pieces together wrong, or your dart has a pucker. There is nothing quite like ripping out all of your work, and having to start gain. It's both cathartic and painful.

Depending on how off you were, you can end up with a pile of thread like mine. However, mine wasn't a mistake. I was ripping out the seams of an old dress I was recycling into mask material. You have to start somewhere. It's either this, or cut it out, and when it comes to seams, you'll save your hands and eyes with this tiny tool. Ask my closest family and they will tell you my favorite kind of turn is a u-turn. Well, my favorite kind of sewing is seam ripping. I do it often...and usually not because I want to. I'm both directionally challenged, and a bit air-headed. The two combined make for some really funny stories. But I digress...

Not to get too cheesy with this whole "life imitates art" thing, but I have a way of seeing something simple in everyday life, and relating it to bigger things. It's kind of my M.O. It's what fuels my writing, and how I can relate big ideas to almost anyone, in a way that makes sense. So, let's dive in.

You know that feeling you get when you're headed down a path of destruction, but you thought it was really awesome when you started out? Maybe "destruction" is too heavy a word. How about "headed down a path that is going somewhere you didn't intend to go"?  It's not a good feeling. You might have some inkling about it along the way, but as the end gets closer and closer, you realize this is not what you want. You start looking for an out, a brake pedal, an emergency release button, anything to get you off this track and on another one. 

I once drove from central PA to three exits before the state line, before I realized I wasn't in Philly. I did the same thing previously in life, going all the way to Gary, Indiana before I realized I had gone the wrong way on I-91. I started out in Lawrence, Michigan, and was headed to Kalamazoo. Several years ago I was making a baby outfit for my niece, and it had really difficult pleats. I had to redo them so many times, I went and bought sew-in tags online that said "this took me forever", and sewed it into the back seam of the dress. I was once in a relationship with someone I knew was a bad idea, but I excused it a million times, and thankfully got out before a baby or a wedding happened. I quit a job once, when I started getting harassed and bullied at work. I knew I should leave, but I stayed over a year after that, because I wanted things to get better. It only hurt me mentally and emotionally in the end.

You see, we all have things that relate. We know when things are off. We all know in our gut when something isn't right. We might choose to ignore it, but we really do know it's there. However, when it comes to making decisions that are more long-term, sometimes we start on a path, headed in a certain direction, and then all of the sudden it's like, "Wait a second! I didn't mean for this to happen!". Subtle compromises, little things start changing, and before you know it we're way off track...or not even on the track.

I've had to use a seam ripper on my life a few times. It wasn't pleasant. All that hard work, time, energy, money, friends, you name it. Ripping it all out, leaving shreds of evidence everywhere to be cleaned up and discarded. And then the re-work begins. It's a little frightening at first. Will I mess it up again? What if I'm/this relationship/friendship/etc not strong enough to stand another mistake? What if I get off track again?

Well, my friends, the great thing about ripping out seams, is it doesn't tear the fabric, it just leaves you with a clean canvas, and a little bit more knowledge for the next run. No one's saying you won't mess up again, or that things won't get a little rough, but maybe you're a little wiser each time, and the seam ripper is less of a necessary tool, and more of a quick correction to a smaller problem.

Take care and don't give up. Tearing down and building up can be painful, but the end result is something beautiful.

Marci