When I was eighteen, the world was my oyster, and I couldn't find my way out of a shoebox. Too many cliche's? At that age, I certainly was one. I had no clue what I wanted to do, or what I wanted to be. Technically, I was grown up enough, and had certainly been asked enough times, "What are you going to college for?" But in reality, I was a scared little dreamer, who had no idea how to mange the new world she'd been handed.
In high school I loved music and art. Anything related to those two things I was not only good at, but absolutely loved. I wanted to go to art school and be an interior designer, but when I ran out of credits to take the architectural drafting class I wanted to take my senior year, and after I was told repeatedly to pick something else, because "art doesn't pay the bills", I decided to change things up. Instead, I would be a CEO of a major corporation...or maybe just own my own business. And I would start this journey by going to school in...Rhode Island. There wasn't anything I couldn't do. And that was a problem.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a total right-brainer.
With my head in the clouds, not a penny to my name, and a list full of dreams and possibilities, college was the worst, yet only choice I could see myself making. And, so I did. Over and over again, switching schools, majors and living situations. I worked too, because that's what poor kids do, and that's how you eat and pay rent.
After landing a job at a private university on the East Coast, I was finally set to graduate. I poured my heart and soul into learning at night, and working full-time during the day. I was committed. I was ready to graduate within the year. It was so close I could taste it! Then tragedy struck, and my life did a complete 180 in a matter of seconds.
I ended up living most of the next year in a wheelchair, and occasionally hobbling with a walker. Doctor and therapy appointments took over my calendar instead of classes and work. Exercising my body and learning how to walk again took over exercising my brain and learning new things. Sitting in a classroom wasn't even an option, and working was even further from it.
After eight long years, I was able to slowly start working again, still using a cane to get around, and going to therapy and training appointments. But the idea of school had not left me, and online school was becoming more popular. Most programs still weren't up to par with that of in-school classes, but in my case, it made more sense physically.
I decided to try a class at community college and see how it went. Of course, I was instantly hooked (again). The brain loves to be challenged, and mine was no different. But, what would I do? At that point I knew I couldn't finish at the school I had been at previously, so I took another look at my local options for degrees. Still landing in the same study, I took a few more classes over the next couple of semesters, while now working full-time. The only thing I had was an Associates Degree and a pile of student loan debt just waiting for a new degree title.
It wasn't long before I maxed out my transferrable credits, and because I still didn't know what I wanted to major in, I took a break. I reached out to Grand Canyon University, as well as Arizona State and University of Phoenix. While I like University of Phoenix, they didn't offer the program I was looking for at the time (I can't remember what it was), so I eliminated that as a possibility. I applied for Arizona State University, and was immediately accepted into the W.P. Carey School of Business. However, once I was accepted, all communication came to a grinding halt. I felt as though I had slipped into a crack somewhere, and left to fend for myself, and figure things out. I was so unimpressed, but continued trying to reach whomever I could, to get some help. Still nothing.
I applied at Grand Canyon University, and was also accepted. And thus began my two-year admissions story with Brian Bailey, my admissions counselor from GCU. I don't know if he's the most patient man on earth, or just really, really cares about his students, (it's the latter) but almost every semester for about two years, he made it a point to contact me, and encourage me to finish my Bachelor's Degree with Grand Canyon. Sometimes I avoided his calls (sorry Brian), but he always challenged me to make a decision about my future. His consistency and hard work paid off.
Finally, on September 24, 2018, I started my first class with GCU, with a clear path to completion, a great admissions support team, and a determination that this was the beginning of the end, of my 24-year undergrad degree program.
Every student sets out with amazing goals. We have the best time management skills (in our heads), and the best study habits (that we usually never use). Those grades start rolling in, and that hard work shows. It's intoxicating. Yes, I really am this smart. Yes, someone is finally noticing. Yes, I own this. I earned this. I am this!
And then with some students, and especially those of us older students who also work, life can get pretty challenging, and throw you some curves. In one semester I was in another state, quit one job, started a new one, and completely change my work schedule from nights to days, and celebrated the winter holidays. I was stressed beyond measure, and my body didn't even know what day it was. I was stretching my brain as a new employee by day, and again for school, and in a difficult class to boot. I was handing in late assignments, and was struggling to keep up. It showed too. As I neared the end of my class, I saw my point tally, and knew the inevitable was about to happen.
There it was. My first "B".
Up until that point I had a steady run of A's in the grade book. A "B" just felt like a punch to the stomach, but I knew I had earned it. There wasn't anything worse than knowing I had done subpar work, especially as an honor's student. I really struggled with this one grade, as I knew I could have done better. Maybe, should have done better. But ultimately, I had to let myself off the guilt hook, and move on with things. I didn't have time to feel bad about the one "B" I got, because I was already full into my next class. If anything, I let it kick me in the pants a little, and help me keep on track.
I look at my 3.82 GPA, which will probably be a 3.84 when graduating, and I think to myself, "Wow Marci! This is awesome!" And I also think, "You could have done better." While I won't psychoanalyze the reasons behind this, I knew that both statements were true, but ultimately I had to cut myself some slack. Some people can do homework at work. With the exception of one time, I never did. Some people cheat, or have other people help them with homework. I never did that either. Yet some people have it much harder than I, and still manage to rock a high GPA, to which I have no explanation, only recognition and appreciation.
Life throws us some doozies, but in the end, it's our job to move past the small disappointments, and into the opportunity on the other side. Whether it's a change of thinking, a business opportunity, or just an opportunity to be a better person, we have that choice to move ahead, and through our present circumstances.
The job I started when I got my first "B", I've now lost, due to the current pandemic. The degree I worked so hard to get, can't be celebrated when it was meant to be. Celebrating will be done at home. The application of what I learned will take on new meaning, as there is no "job" to use it on. However, if there is one thing I know about myself (and I know a few things), it's that I don't give up. I don't give up searching. I don't give up learning. And I definitely don't give up trying. This is me. This is how I roll. Maybe you're like that too.
In some ways, life has come to a bit of a full circle. I find myself with a new oyster in my hands, a new world of possibilities, wondering what's about to come my way. It's exciting! Will I figure out where I'm meant to go? Will I get there? Will I be okay?
The answer is an emphatic "Yes!"
Make the best of your journey, and celebrate all your victories. You never know where life is going to take you, but if you're willing, it will probably take you exactly where you need to go.
Marci
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